Guardians of Grail

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50 Individuals who Fecked up Ireland
About the first page of this wonderful book, John Waters identifies the main difference between 'feck' and the more vulgar word having a 'u'. Feck is "less angry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], less condemnatory somehow". And yet fecker has "a deeper quality of contempt".
If you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dear reader, understand these distinctions it will be clear for you why Waters includes Pope John Paul II in his Feckers book in the category of "gobshite, chancer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], bollox". So far as I can tell, all he is charged with is being "a kind old man whose ideas had passed their sell-by date".
But His Holiness has something in common not only using the other 49 feckers in this book but with the entire Irish people. Like, ever since the Famine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we've been "thinking about ourselves upside-down. We do not view the simplest information about ourselves".
On the other hand, the Irish can be very clever: "Perhaps something many people in Ireland can concur . is that the undoing of national independence probably began with its genesis within the Easter Week of 1916." But I thought most people believed the alternative.
Here's another surprise: "Bishop Eamon Casey's 'sins', or at best the ones he was punished for,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], suggest themselves because the flaws of a good man. He'd knocked up an American woman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Annie Murphy, who had given birth in 1974 to some boy called Peter. With that said, he was a high-class of sinner."
If you thought Des O'Malley and the PDs were by any means idealistic, here's the reality: "In a sense the PDs began not in 1985, but right now, some two decades before, when certain members of the aspirant political generation took one look at the swarthily preposterous figure of Charles J Haughey and realised they were going nowhere while this guy remained on the pitch."
Peculiarly enough, Waters is most interesting and humane when he takes the side from the helpless. Here he is on Gerry Adams: "Adopting the ideological palette of a left-liberal politician,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he pontificated about equality and women's rights. He appeared to have forgotten all about Jean McConville and her truncated life like a woman and mother .
"All this were built with a gruesome impact on the stomach of modern Ireland."
He also identifies using the much-maligned father in John McGahern's Memoir in a way that is genuinely provocative. But even while doing this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he can't help giving the reader's ribs an unmerciful tickling.
We're to the Famine again. It "elevated mom to the status of put-upon Madonna,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and reduced the father to . a brooding menace".
This raising from the Mammy was "a crude act of social engineering ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. effected through the Catholic Church with regards to manipulating the somewhat licentious appetites of the Irish and preventing a repetition of the calamity that their libertine habits had caused to befall them".
This is a bit hard on poor people Paddy who thought the Famine was the responsibility of the rotten praties and the Brits. Now he discovers it had been himself and his little Willy what tried it.
Nor could it be any consolation the brooding Daddy has been replaced by a creature dressed up by that fecker Ben Dunne senior in "a cheap tracksuit [and] slip-on shoes made of soft material,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which make no sound as he walks".
In the old pre-Dunne days the Da "tended to move about in public places by himself, joining with other males at certain appointed places: the public house,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the bookie shop, within the main door from the church.
Now, he tends to venture out in public in the company of his wife or girlfriend, who's,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it's clear, the architect of his physical appearance".
This woman "disports him for competitive purposes to be able to demonstrate (a) his docility and (b) her chance to control every factor of his life".
Actually,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], women don't make much of a splash in Waters' world -- you will find only four of these amongst his 50 feckers. Maud Gonne,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Terry Keane and Mary Robinson get short shrift.
I've only enough space left to express that John Waters is Ireland's greatest living comic resource. There's enough laughing gas in this book to maintain the country lit up for a long time.
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