Guardians of Grail

cheapbag214s · Posted: Wed 13:47, 04 Sep 2013 Post subject: Your problems answered

Your problems answered
Should I wait for my lover to leave his wife,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
I am a fun, attractive 28-year-old woman. I recently visited a man I had been good friends with since leaving university. While I was there his wife arrived. I was shocked because he hadn told me that he had married four months ago, but I acted as if I knew. It was then that I realised I loved him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and we embarked upon an affair. His wife knows that we have slept together, but she thinks it all over. He can yet tell me if he will leave her and says he needs more time. He says it would be cruel to leave her so soon after their marriage, and also her parents are paying off a loan that they took out for the wedding. He says that he feels a lot of passion for me and hardly ever has sex with his wife. I am in turmoil. I can walk away as I love him so much.
There are three classic lies that men tell the other woman: wife doesn understand me meaning am up for an affair love you meaning want to get you into bed and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hardly ever have sex meaning do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but if you knew that you might stop having sex with me He enjoyed flirting but actually proposed to and married someone else. If he had really wanted you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don you think he might have taken your friendship a little further? He is already making excuses about why he can leave. There will be more to follow, such as,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wife is pregnant or, can leave now that we have children Many mistresses spend years sharing their lover with his wife only to discover he never leaves her. Stop hoping you have a future together because he is not going to be your Valentine.
I scared to leave my bullying parents
I am a 17-year-old girl,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I am doing well at school but am unhappy at home. I have never felt loved by my parents I don feel they even regard me as a human being. My mum pushed me down the stairs when I was little and she has thrown heavy objects at me. My dad hits me with sticks and leather belts. I have always tried to be perfect for them but they act like I committed a crime,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I am too scared to run away. They have told me that Social Services are bad. I can call Childline as there is always someone around. I am full of anger and anxiety and I have no one to support me against my parents,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
You sound like a really lovely girl and you are obviously working hard at school. Your parents behaviour is abusive; there is no excuse for it and it is not your fault. It is essential that you get help,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I understand how difficult it must feel for you to do so. This is due to fear and also because your self-esteem has been undermined. Please try to talk to a school mentor or a teacher whom you trust. Your school would let you use their telephone to call them, or you could ring them from a telephone box. You could also get help from your local Social Services (they are not bad; look up your local branch in the phone book) or Childline on 0800 1111.
How can I stop being a soft touch?
I can stop lending money to people. The problem is that when they don give it back I avoid asking them because I don want to sound cheap,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even though it bugs me.
There is a lot of sense in the old saying a borrower nor a lender be It so often spoils relationships,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially if someone doesn pay you back. You naturally resent it and feel they have abused your trust; they either choose to forget it, telling hemselves that you don mind, or they feel guilty and let the friendship go so that they don have to confront their guilt. I get the impression that you are a people pleaser: you don have much confidence or self-belief so you lend money because you want people to like you. Try to work on your self-esteem; believe that people should like you for who you are, and stop lending money to fair-weather friends who try to take advantage of your generosity. Good friends won ask. And it is not cheap to ask for your money back, so do so.
His son has no respect for me
My partner 16-year-old son lives with his mum and visits us daily. Recently his dad gave him an old mobile of mine; he has misinterpreted a message on it that I once sent and is now accusing me of saying something nasty about his mum,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which I wasn He has started being rude and aggressive and has made it clear that he will do what he wants in his dad house. I did shout at him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which was wrong,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I later apologised. His father does nothing to intervene. His mother is friendly towards me should I say anything to her? I feel like a stranger in my own home and am now wondering about the future.
Rudeness is not acceptable and nor is shouting, but you did apologise and your partner should ask his son to do the same. He should also be more supportive to you and talk to his son about it being your home as well as his. It may be that your partner son thinks that if you were not on the scene his parents might get back together. Or there could be other things he is unhappy about in his life and you are getting the blame. Have a word with his mother as she might be prepared to talk to him. For further help contact Parentlineplus on 0808 800 2222.
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