Guardians of Grail

cheapbag214s · Posted: Tue 14:20, 17 Sep 2013 Post subject: What I don want for Christmas

What I don want for Christmas
IT'S a tough question once you reach "a certain age" (over 35), and kind of have everything you need: "What do you want for Christmas?"
I never seem to have a good answer, as I've gone off perfume - having finally realised other people could smell it - already have too many shoes, kind of like choosing my own clothes,[url=http://woolrichschweizshop.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Parka Winter Woolrich Online Shop Schweiz Sale Die Gute Qualität Woolrich[/b][/url], and could never be called "short of an accessory".
I cook a lot, but I'm just as happy with our 15-year-old pots and pans (and our one posh Le Creuset wedding present casserole dish that's been used about 2427 times). I don't care that the glasses, cutlery and cups don't match and I certainly don't need tea towels - that's not a real present anyway. We've enough scented candles to make even the vets smell sweet and I buy all my creams cheap online.
So what do you buy the person who really does have everything, including at least 30 queued up, unread books?
As of now,[url=http://monclerjackedeutschland.albirank.net/][b]http://monclerjackedeutschland.albirank.net/[/b][/url], I still don't know what I want, in a material sense, at least. So, to gently nudge my loved ones away from the usual array of traps for people-attempting-to-buy-stuff-for-people-over-35-with-everything, I've prepared a handy list of a few stand-out items that I'm kind of hoping not to find under my own tree. And quite frankly,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]duvetica vestes paris[/b][/url], I'd be quite surprised if you wanted to see them nestled under yours:
A BENADICTAPHONE. You may think this is a natural choice for a journalist, or anyone else who likes to make a novelty verbal note, but a voice recorder shaped like Pope Benedict XVIs head (with key-chain attached) might make that quick shopping list, or column idea, feel more like a guilty confession.
A FULL-sized throw rug featuring the boy band N Sync,[url=http://giuseppezanottiweddingshoes.webmium.com/][b]giuseppe zanotti wedding shoes Shop[/b][/url], or a Justin Bieber, Bieber Fever alarm clock (surprisingly easy to find online).
ONE of those hideous knife stands that is moulded to look like a man standing up - with six knives stabbing right through him. I can't believe people actually buy those.
A RIVERDANCE boxed set. I admit,[url=http://cheapsoccercleatsonlinestore.blogspot.com/][b]cheap soccer cleats online store[/b][/url], I was a bit transfixed by the jaunty tapping for about 20 minutes, but that ship has sailed.
ONE of those extremely trendy, but completely ridiculous Jil Sander "paper bag" handbags that cost $350 and completely sold out after they debuted on the European catwalks in August. Yes, they really are just coated paperback, like a lunch bag with a scrunched over top. I don't get it.
A CHANEL Hoola Hoop handbag,[url=http://rogervivieroutlet.webmium.com/][b]roger vivier australia store[/b][/url], as nutty as the Jil Sander one,[url=http://parajumpersoutletsverige.albirank.net/][b]http://parajumpersoutletsverige.albirank.net/[/b][/url], only dearer. The full-sized Hoola bag (yes a leather half circle pouch supported by two hoops) was "the most talked-about item on the Chanel spring/summer 2013 catwalk", according to Vogue. But even the scaled down model is $2400. Mad.
A COIN wallet made from a part of a male kangaroo that the kangaroo would definitely miss,[url=http://cheapsoccercleatsonlinestore.blogspot.com/][b]cheap soccer cleats store[/url].
A PAIR of big fluffy slippers in the shape of a pair of Converse sneakers. I was given these once. They were funny for five minutes,[url=http://peutereyjacket.webmium.com/][b]http://peutereyjacket.webmium.com/[/b][/url]. Landfill.
ANOTHER copy of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/[/b][/url]. Haven't gotten around to reading the first one I was given yet- and that's starting to worry me,[url=http://monclerjacketsuk.albirank.net/][b]http://monclerjacketsuk.albirank.net/[/b][/url].
AND these go without saying, but just in case; a back scratcher, massage sandals, a cocktail shaker or any kind of novelty ice tray. Oh, and 50 Shades of Grey.
But, on the other hand, when I Googled worst Christmas gifts ever, I was quite surprised to find that there were several items listed in various places that I'd be quite chuffed to receive. Including:
A SNUGGIE. You know,[url=http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/][b]http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/[/b][/url], those fleecy,[url=http://parajumpersjacketwiki.blogspot.com/][b]http://parajumpersjacketwiki.blogspot.com/[/b][/url], kind of wearable sleeping bags like you put your baby in (with arms), that you can just slob out on the couch in. What sane person would turn their nose up at that.
A BOXED set of Knight Rider DVDs. Come on, no way should that be on a "worst gifts" list. That and Magnum PI,[url=http://peutereyjacket.webmium.com/][b]Ricarda Christina and Peuterey Jacket With Front Pockets for sale[/b][/url], on a rainy day, in the Snuggie.
A BRIGHT red computer key with the word Panic on it. Fun (and in my case, also practical).
A BANANA guard or banana bunker. They're plastic banana-shaped boxes. Seriously, a thing that protects your handbag from getting a smoothie in it, what's not to like?
A TOP Trumps-style game called Plop Trumps, which is not a joke, but a carefully written and containing no offensive language,[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/[/b][/url], fascinating and informative set of trump cards, each featuring facts and figures about species and their poo. We go to the bush a bit and an Australian version of this would actually be quite useful. Plus, it's a game simple enough for me to win when I'm "versing" the kids. Oh, and I would most definitely really appreciate a good old fashioned foot spa. Happy Christmas.
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