Guardians of Grail

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Cameron and Clegg battle for first lick of silver spoon,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
IT is most odd," said my pal, a Frenchman now living, like the majority of sensible Frenchmen, in London. "Your country has given birth to twins. This Cameron and Clegg, he's exactly the same person, no? Both are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how you say, posh?"
"Yes," I explained. "But they're different types of posh."
"True,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," I conceded. "But they are not the same species of posh. David Cameron,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is Eton-Oxford-country- clubby-cutglass-shooting party sort of posh, whereas Nick Clegg is Westminster-Cambridge-metropolitan-foreign-glottalstop-trustfund kind of posh. Cameron is upper-upper-middle class having a dash of English gentry, but Clegg is middle-upper-middle class having a hint of European aristocracy. These are quite different things."
In the look on his bemused Gallic face I saw I was not receiving through. And so i started from basics.
In British society there aren't three classes, but an infinite variety of sub-classes, governed by a multiplicity of minute distinctions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], invisible and incomprehensible to anyone outside the system. These are partly dependent on wealth, geography and education,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but also on lineage, accent, pastimes, parsimony and in which you purchase your shoes.
In France, you will find just two classes: the ruling and the ruled. The revolution made very little difference to this. In Britain, as pointed out by John Prescott (working-middle-class- peer-to-be), there's only one class, the center one, that we all belong. All members of the center class are equal, but some are more equal than the others.
"Aha," said my French friend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Frenchly. "Then who is more grand, Cameron or Clegg? Who is plus posh?"
This can be a tricky question, and one worth Anthony Powell, the truly amazing observer and chronicler from the English class system. An insatiable snob, Powell understood better than any other novelist, using the possible exception of Evelyn Waugh, the moment gradations of British class and social placement that when separated,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], say, a baronet who has joined the middle class from the self-made peer who buys their own furniture.
The drawing of such distinctions, not only between but additionally within classes, is a peculiarly British urge. As Lord Robert Cecil once wrote: "Directly Man has his most elementary material wants, the very first aspiration of his amiable heart is for the privilege to be able to look down upon his neighbours."
So who, in the new Cameron-Clegg menage, is looking recorded on whom? That was born using the longer silver spoon?
Cameron appears to be to become posher, genealogically. He's a descendant of William IV and distantly associated with the Queen. His mother is the daughter of the baronet. His mother-in-law is a viscountess. Samantha Cameron is authentic old money county posh, being the eldest daughter of Sir Reginald Adrian Berkeley Sheffield, 8th Baronet and a descendant of Charles II.
But there's blueish blood in the Clegg veins too. His grandmother would be a White Russian baroness. His great uncle was clubbed to death by their own peasants, which has a certain aristo-cachet. His great aunt would be a spy: it's well-known that before about 1992 MI6 did not recruit anybody who wasn't directly from the top drawer. However, his ancestors on the other side were Dutch colonial entrepreneurs: yes, trade.
Cameron's manners are exquisitely upper-class. Unlike Clegg,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who did not hesitate to barge in throughout the televised debates, Cameron fell silent when interrupted, and when asked to be quiet, he was. This may explain why he didn't triumph in the debates.
Cameron has been said to enjoy shooting pheasants,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whereas the nearest Clegg originates to blood sports reaches the Liberal Democrat annual conference. "Eton and Oxford" still sounds immeasurably grander than "Westminster and Cambridge", which sounds merely clever. Cameron is clubbable (Whites, the Bullingdon) in a manner that Clegg is not.
Cameron eats fish and chips and enjoys reading cheap paperbacks,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that is itself a mark of extreme poshness. Only the very grand are instinctively frugal, as demonstrated with this week's revelation the Queen Mother rented a tv for her Scottish castle.
Clegg's accent is fluent BBC, with a hint of the Estuary twang perfected by Tony Blair (lower-upper-middle class). Cameron's accent, according to friends, was previously rather more "fruity and patrician", and the vowels have grown flatter as he has ascended higher. George Orwell once said of Winston Churchill the prime minister was "too old to possess acquired the current 'educated' accent. he speaks with the Edwardian upper-class twang which to the average man's ear seems like Cockney".
Today, Clegg has got the "educated" accent and Cameron the Edwardian remnants, but to the average man (and Frenchman) they sound identical.
Which, finally, may be the point. Clegg and Cameron occupy a little different niches about the social spectrum, however it matters not a jot.
In the earlier days,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can easily imagine Clegg being dismissed by the likes of Anthony Powell as a jumped-up nouveau riche, or Cameron being lampooned by Evelyn Waugh like a person in the Bollinger Club, "crimson and roaring", brought up to "the sound of English county families baying for broken glass".
(Waugh's own snobbery was matched by the snootiness of others towards him: "a silly little suburban sod by having an inferiority complex and no palate drinks Pernod after meals," sniffed his history tutor.)
Today, the infinitesimal gradations of class are of anthropological interest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but of no political relevance whatever. The election result has offered conclusive evidence that voters know that there are more important considerations than where someone visited school, the way they speak and whether or not they prefer to kill animals at the weekend.
Peter Mandelson, amongst others,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], tried to obtain the class war going by insisting that Cameron was looking down his "rather long toffee nose". However it failed to ignite,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for the same reason why the Clegg-Cameron alliance will be seen less some upper-class, public school conspiracy but like a genuine transformation from the political landscape.
British social distinctions are actually merely interesting, instead of important. We are still conscious of class, without being paralysed by class consciousness.
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